Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
