Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
