You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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