how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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