I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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