You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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