So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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