My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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