Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
