I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
