I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
