just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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