worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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