Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
