the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
