Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
