U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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