He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
