So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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