so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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