so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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