shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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