I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
