FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize