I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I love having hate sex.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize