Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
