So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
no more duck duck goose at the bar
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
