I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize