this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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