SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
