i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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