I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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