i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
