i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
