My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
