is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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