Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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