we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
