You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
