What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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