i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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