I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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