the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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