he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
