my mouth tastes like poor choices
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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