I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
