We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
