the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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