is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
