I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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