im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
