hotel room ftw
Screwed.edu
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
