is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My bed smells like the plague
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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