i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
