i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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