my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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