just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
