Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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