hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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