the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
