It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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