I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
