You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
