Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
