so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
