Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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